The firefighter is put out -- Stephanie's voted off in an episode where the most exciting moment is jumpin' Jan busting a move, says Dalton Ross
Stephanie Dill, Survivor: Thailand
Credit: Stephanie Dill: Monty Brinton

The firefighter is put out

Sorting fish?!? That was this week’s big immunity challenge — sorting freakin’ fish? Man, that stunk, both literally and figuratively. Next to the old SOS helicopter challenges, this had to be the most boring immunity competition ever. And at least the SOS ones had people making fools of themselves by painting their bodies and walking around in thongs. All we got out of this was poor Stephanie shoving fish heads in her mouth. Did I mention it was BO-RING!

Equally uninteresting was the food auction reward challenge. Now, when I talked to Mark Burnett this summer (nice name dropping, eh?), he promised me that every single challenge this season would be new. So what I’m telling you now is that Mark Burnett is a big fat liar. I don’t care if people are spending $140 for a cold cheeseburger. I pay practically that much for one in midtown Manhattan every day for lunch.

Yeah, all in all it was a pretty tame episode. You know things are moving slowly when the show’s most exciting scene features 53-year-old Jan doing the cabbage patch and rapping ”See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!” I just want to repeat this for emphasis: 53-year-old Jan was doing the cabbage patch and rapping ”See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!” Truly surreal.

The other supposed scintillating moment that CBS had been advertising all week was Robb being attacked in the water, yet in classic ”Survivor” fashion, it ended up being basically nothing. Yes, the bite (or whatever it was) on Robb’s foot looked pretty gnarly (or maybe I’m just squeamish), but homeboy was walking around two seconds later like nothing had happened. It certainly didn’t seem to effect him in the fish tossing contest, although you knew before it even began that Sook Jai was going to lose. As any longtime ”Survivor” fan knows, it’s all in the editing. Once they showed that clip of Brian saying Jan would definitely go if they had to vote this week, then you knew that, well, Chuay Gahn would not lose, because if they did, that would make for the most anticlimactic tribal council ever. So this just made a lame immunity challenge even lamer in that there was never really any doubt as to the outcome.

So, as a result, Stephanie is now gone. I can’t say I’ll miss her, seeing as how she basically had NO personality whatsoever, at least not one that came through on the show. I’m sure back in her natural habitat, she’s a great gal, but Steffie just wasn’t much fun to watch here (except when she was sticking fish heads in her mouth, of course). So, no great loss. Personally, I’m already looking forward to next week, as it looks like someone finally stands up to annoying skater Robb, when he and Ken go jawing at one another. Why, it may just have me up out of my chair doing the cabbage patch!

Survivor: Thailand
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