1 STAR WARS George Lucas is releasing a giant-screen IMAX version of Attack of the Clones. So you can spot plot problems you never saw before.
2 STEALING HARVARD It’s the SATs of comedy. If you like this Tom Green movie, you’re not smart enough to get into Harvard.
3 SURVIVOR: THAILAND Why will there never be a Survivor: Siberia? Because they’d have to keep their clothes on.
4 REESE WITHERSPOON The Legally Blonde star is getting $15 million to star in the sequel, Red, White & Blonde. Only like six actresses make that kind of money. And 6,000 lawyers.
5 THE SOPRANOS Some say it’s the best show on television. Not if they gave the Osbournes some guns.
6 REGIS & KELLY in prime time If this makes money it will be followed by Regis & Kelly: Every Waking Moment.
7 TRADING PLACES Kurt Cobain’s childhood home is up for sale on eBay. Guaranteed to make the buyers as happy as it made him.
8 8 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER John Ritter’s new sitcom. If only they could have told us what it’s about in the title.
9 MISS AMERICA PAGEANT There are two Miss North Carolinas battling it out for one spot. It will be settled by a tobacco-spitting contest.
10 DISNEY WORLD They’ve raised the adult single-day ticket to $50. Or about half what it costs you to stay home.
11 PUSH, NEVADA The new mystery series is offering a million dollars to the first viewer who can solve the case. Two million if your ending is better than theirs.
12 GEORGE HARRISON Every report mentions that all the songs on his new album were recorded before his death. In case we might think otherwise.
13 WHITNEY HOUSTON She was given a ticket for watering her grass during a drought alert in New Jersey. She got one for her lawn, too.
14 BARBERSHOP Ice Cube sells the neighborhood hangout, then changes his mind the same day. But not quick enough — it’s already a Starbucks.
15 THE LATIN GRAMMYS Contrary to what most Anglos think, the thank-you speeches are very rarely in Latin.
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