The matchup between Drew Barrymore and Tom Green

THE LOWDOWN Together they battled his cancer, escaped a house fire, and toyed with the press for months about whether they had tied the knot (they did, officially, last July 4). Still, no one was surprised when the matrimonial ties came unbound in less than six months.

WE SAY The bottom line is she’s known for being a spontaneous sweetheart with box office hits, and he got famous for putting feces on a microphone. His career will be a distant memory in a few years, while Drew will be reinventing herself and charming audiences.

WHO WINS Barrymore