Big Brother 3: Tony Esparza/CBS
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August 08, 2002 at 12:00 PM EDT

”Soft porn” Eric gets voted out

Okay, I guess I should really be writing about the ouster of Eric, or that crazy, shocking, out-of-left-field, didn’t-see-that-coming twist Julie Chen revealed (yes, that’s no-so-thinly veiled sarcasm). But I can’t. At least not yet. Not until I get something off my chest. Something that’s been bugging me for over 24 hours now, and that something is… Josh’s facial hair. What the hell is going on there?!? I don’t get it. Is that, like, on purpose? I mean, goatees on their own are cheesy enough, but that wacky, sculpted thing is downright nas-tay!

Okay, I’ve said it. It’s been said. We can move on. Now let’s get to Eric. This was easily the saddest of all evictions, and for a variety of reasons. One, we just missed out on several more weeks of free soft porn. I mean, have you checked him and Lisa out in the sack? Millions of people cancelled their now needless Cinemax subscriptions due to this randy twosome. Of course, the folks on Skinemax don’t freak you out by stopping halfway through getting hot and heavy to say, ”hi” to each other. Talk about creepy.

Also creepy, but highly entertaining nonetheless, was Eric’s bizarre sleeptalking habit. This stuff was pure gold. As far as I’m concerned they should just scrap the current format and make the show ENTIRELY Eric talking to himself. I especially liked that nonsense about Marcellas kissing him on the cheek. (Anyone care to psychoanalyze that one with a 10 foot pole?)

Anyway, when it came down to the vote between Eric and Lisa, Gerry broke the tie by ousting Eric for ”strategic reasons.” All I can say is, bad strategy, dude. Sure, you broke up the Roddy-Eric coalition, but now you have a pissed off Lisa to contend with. If Lisa had left, Eric would have been bummed, but he would have understood it as a part of the game and not held a grudge. Lisa, on the other hand, will now do everything in her power to get rid of Gerry. But then again, who cares if she does, because he might just be put back in the house a few weeks later anyway!

Now, I’m all for new twists and turns, and I’ve gone on record as being in favor of the new veto wrinkle (and dope veto necklace), but this one about putting an evicted house guest back on the show I’m not so sure about. First off, if the whole show is supposed to be an experiment with cutting people off from society, that has pretty much been thrown out the window, considering Lori, Tonya, and Amy have been partying it up international style.

Also, what happens if someone like Amy gets put back in, and then immediately gets thrown out again? What real drama does that create? Yes, it will cause the contestants to scramble a little bit like chickens with their heads cut off, and that’s always fun, but in the big picture, I don’t know that it adds up to much more than a pretty meaningless gimmick.

But hey, I’m not complaining too much. At least this show’s not obviously rigged like ”American Idol.” Yo, R.J., you wouldn’t last one week in this house, buddy!

Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.
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