Loony Lori is gone -- is Josh next? Gerry's poor hygiene, the infamous peanut butter smearing, and the best houseguest of them all, according to Dalton Ross
Big Brother
Credit: Big Brother 3: CBS
Big Brother

Loony Lori is gone — is Josh next?

Lori seemed like a really, really nice lady. Of course, she also seemed, well, how should I put this, crazy? Okay, maybe crazy is a strong word, but homegirl was definitely starting to crack. Did you catch that action on Wednesday night when she started yelling at Danielle and the rest of the housemates for talking about Gerry’s questionable hygiene? Where the hell did that come from? Hello, Earth to Lori, I wanted to scream, your head is on the chopping block so it’s probably not to the best idea to start random arguments with the people who can vote your ass out. Especially when said arguments basically are about NOTHING!

While we’re discussing the issue of Gerry’s pee hands, that was truly A-Plus editing on the part of the ”Big Brother” production staff. I love how they showed him walking out of the bathroom without washing up, then cut to the women saying how disgusting that was, and then cut to close ups of him tossing a salad with his hands, and finally stuffing lettuce into his face. Brilliance. Pure brilliance.

Anyway, back to loony Lori. You know on reality shows when contestants get rid of someone they don’t like and rationalize it by saying something along the lines of, ”He didn’t seem like he was enjoying being here, so I’m doing him a favor by sending him home,” or ”She’s really struggling, so I think she’d be better off leaving.” Yeah, well, that’s usually a big load of bull spewed by people more concerned with covering their backsides. In this case, however, I do honestly think Lori needed to go — for her sanity and ours.

Of course, Lori isn’t the only one who’s been driving us crazy. What the hell happened to Gerry? He went from super schemer to self-righteous windbag. His 10 zillion speeches about saving Marcelles because he had gay friends and black nephews would have been admirable if it didn’t come off as so self-serving. Note to Gerry: Nice guys don’t always talk about what nice guys they are. (As for the new veto wrinkle, I like it. Anything to get players more pissed at each other is a good thing in my book.)

Gerry’s not unbearably annoying, just confusing and misguided. Now, Josh is unbearable annoying. The self-anointed ”ass-smacker” isn’t evil in a so-bad-he’s-good sort of way like last year’s victor, Will Kirby. No, he’s just so-bad-he’s-bad. Whether he’s grabbing women’s tushies, talking smack while lying practically upside down in the confessional room, or struggling to come up with some other lame attention-grabbing gimmick, he is every over-the-top reality contestant stereotype brought to horrible life. Thankfully, he may find his head (and blue do rag) on the chopping block if Marcellas (who he tried to oust last week) has his wits about him.

Of course, that may be too much to ask for any of these contestants, who spend more time getting naked and smearing peanut butter all over their private parts (you web cam watchers know what I’m talking about! Boo-ya!) than anything else. With that in mind, I already have my favorite houseguest: Danielle. She’s funny, foxy, and can mix it up when the need arises. She’s neither saint (Jason) nor sinner (uh…basically everybody else in the house), but just good and bad enough to be interesting. Plus, the woman does one mean Tina Turner impersonation.

Who do you want to win at this point?

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Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.

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