David Arquette answers 10 stupid questions
Tobey Maguire, watch your back. Funnyman David Arquette, 30, is about to release his own arachnid movie, ”Eight Legged Freaks” (July 17). With a superstar wife (Courteney Cox), a World Championship Wrestling title belt, and a bohemian family of actors to call on for advice, he may prove a more powerful force than even the Green Goblin. EW.com talked to the former 1-800-CALL-ATT pitchman about all things Arquette.
In a battle royale, who wins: the Arquettes, the Baldwins, or the Brady Bunch?
I think we would win. Rosanna and Patricia are tough women — and Richmond, Alexis, and I are dirty fighters. We all grew up in Hollywood and that makes for thick skin.
If you guys are the Brady Bunch, which Brady are you?
I’d be Bobby because I’m the youngest, and Alexis would be Cindy (the youngest one in curls).
You renamed your new flick ”Eight Legged Freaks” (from ”Arac Attack”). In retrospect, can we get the David Arquette name for some other films you’ve starred in?
I would rename ”Ready to Rumble” ”Ready to Get Freaky”; ”Ravenous” would be ”Freaks Eating Freaks”; and, of course, ”See Spot Run” would become “See Spot Freak.”
We know what an eight legged freak is. But who would you cast in “Two Legged Freaks”?
Rick Overton. He plays a character in ”Eight Legged Freaks” named Deputy Pete and he’s also a stand up with a show coming out called ”The Two Legged Freak.” I’m a little freaky myself.
You’ve done a bit of wrestling. In your fantasy wrestling world, what’s your outfit, wrestling name, and act?
My fantasy wrestling character would be The Dirty Squirrel — with a long, bushy tail and a move named ”The Flying Squirrel,” which is launched off the top rope.
You were briefly WCW Heavyweight Champion of the World. What kind of perks come with that title?
I got to hang out with some of my favorite entertainers, carry the belt from city to city, and, thanks to Jimmy Hart, get a fantastic tour of Graceland.
Your grandfather, Charley Weaver, was a regular on ”Hollywood Squares.” Who’s center square on your version of the show?
Pee Wee Herman. He’s a great friend and a very funny and witty person.
Between you, Carrot Top, ALF, and Mike Piazza, who’s REALLY the most knowledgeable about collect calling?
You’ve left out a few. The one I’d pick is, no doubt, Mr. T.
If we were to pay you ONLY in food, what would it take to get you to do another ”Scream” sequel?
Your wife was in the He-Man movie ”Masters of the Universe.” Has she ever asked you to put on furry undies and be her Prince Adam?
She hasn’t ASKED me to wear furry undies, but I have worn them on my own for her viewing pleasure.