What the country is talking about this week…

1 MR. DEEDS Everyone wants a piece of Adam Sandler after he becomes hugely wealthy completely by accident. The movie has a similar plot.

2 CASABLANCA The American Film Institute named it the nation’s most romantic movie. It was also the last film many voters saw.

3 AMERICAN IDOL A talent-search show that has become a surprise hit for Fox. You wonder how many Fox TV stars could have won this.

4 PAMELA ANDERSON Her T&A series V.I.P. is DNR. But she can probably get work on CSI or JAG or SNL PDQ.

5 EMINEM He had some unchivalrous words for former flame Mariah Carey. There go his female fans. Both of them.

6 MINORITY REPORT In the future, policeman Tom Cruise can arrest people before they commit crimes. But you get to plead ”Guilty” or ”Not Guilty Yet.”

7 MARTHA STEWART Inquiring minds want to know if she made a small fortune from insider trading. And if so, can she teach them how?

8 MEN IN BLACK II Why not make a sequel? Think of the money they saved on costumes.

9 DOG EAT DOG A new reality game show where people are encouraged to be aggressive, self-centered jerks. It’s filmed on location at your office.

10 FERGIE It’s official: The former Duchess of York is hosting her own syndicated TV talk show. Today’s topic: dealing with problem mothers-in-law.

11 CHARLTON HESTON The actor will play the part of Ben-Hur once again in a cartoon. Next he plans to animate Soylent Green.

12 CHICK-TAC-TOE A casino is offering $10,000 to anyone who can beat its chicken at tic-tac-toe. It’s also what they charge not to tell people you lost.

13 KELLY OSBOURNE The anti-Britney Spears has a hit with her version of ”Papa Don’t Preach.” But it’s not likely that any church will ask him to.

14 NCAA They’ve announced a $500 million, 11-year deal with Coca-Cola. Whew! There was a rumor Coke might waste that money on academics.

15 MICHAEL JACKSON He’s been mobbed by adoring crowds in Britain. They must not realize King of Pop is a made-up title.