OUT COLD

Nowadays, all it takes to be classified a comedy is a few body-fluid gags and some crude sexual high jinks. Add several snowboarding stunts and you get brothers Emmett and Brendan Malloy’s lowbrow debut, in which London plays a lovesick employee at a laid-back Alaskan ski resort in danger of being gentrified by Majors. But not even the Six Million Dollar Man could save a plot whose comic climax involves a beer-chugging moron jamming his member into a whirlpool jet. Crude — and cruel.