THIRTEEN GHOSTS

Well, Tony Shalhoub has to pay the mortgage somehow, right? Good thing the crapola he picks is fun as hell. In Thirteen Ghosts, the character actor plays a bereft widower who inherits a spooky, haunted glass house. If that’s not enough of a bummer, the new digs turn out to actually be some 15th-century devil device based on the dark zodiac that…you know what? Whatever. It’s all hoo-ha. But it made my girlfriend squeak and practically jump into my lap. What more do you want from a horror movie?