Grading "Spider-Man", "Minority Report", and other new trailers

Memorial Day may be a mere four months away, but it’s never too early to start critiquing this year’s summer-movie lineup — based solely on the trailers, of course. Here’s a preview of 2002’s coming attractions.

THE BOURNE IDENTITY (Universal) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Damon? Not exactly, though Matt drops the goodwill act—along with a few bad guys—with some chopsocky in this spy drama about an amnesia-addled agent. But the real Identity crisis may be the poor ID for blink-and-you’ll-miss-her costar Julia Stiles. B

EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS (Warner Bros.) Granted, it stars David Arquette and a bunch of rampaging spiders. But over-the-top arachnid antics are a welcome change from the recent deluge of postmodern horror flicks. If we were more pun-prone, we might say this movie will have, you know, legs. Sorry. A

SPIDER-MAN (Columbia) In just minutes, Sam Raimi delivers the anti-Batman: bright, zippy action with star Tobey Maguire, buff as a Funky Bunch-era Mark Wahlberg. And that upside-down smooch with Kirsten Dunst is the best comic kiss since Timothy Dalton and Brooke Shields in Brenda Starr! We’re climbing walls in anticipation. A+

MR. DEEDS (Columbia) Give Adam Sandler credit. He knows even a so-so spot can be redeemed by Journey’s ”Don’t Stop Believin’.” But arena-rock anthems can’t disguise the familiarity of Sandler playing a lovable loser—this time, an unlikely media mogul. And why hide Winona Ryder until the end? Afraid she’d steal all her scenes? B-

MINORITY REPORT (Fox) Steven Spielberg returns to stark sci-fi spectacle à la A.I. Artificial Intelligence. No tough-talking teddy this time, but an on-the-run Tom Cruise plays a cop whose foreordained future is catching up with him. Plus, Report boasts its own robotic spiders. We’re in for serious ‘sects and violence this summer. B

Eight Legged Freaks
  • Movie
  • 99 minutes