To those naysayers who’ve been gleefully proclaiming the death of the reality-TV boom, we say: Oh, okay, you’re probably right, but gosh darn we sure are gonna miss it. After all, think how dreary life would have been without, say, Boot Camp’s Mr. Lemon? In honor of our favorite TV genre since the dramedy, we offer up our 2001 Hall of Fame-Seeker Fame.
MANDY Temptation Island
— Introduced America to the Island custom of nipple tequila shots — Set new hypocrisy benchmark by becoming enraged at boyfriend Billy for his innocent striptease act, after her own cheating make-out session
KEVIN AND DREW The Amazing Race
— Introduced concept of ”frat guy” to deepest Thailand — Became the Mark Twains of reality TV, coining platitudes like ”He’s three days older than kerosene, that guy” — Most touching platonic love affair since Butch and Sundance
TONI Love Cruise: The Maiden Voyage
— Bugged-out-eyeball routine set the gold standard for symbolizing ”anger” — Mastered reality-TV hat trick: Can cry, hug, and wail ”It’s just a game!” simultaneously — Contains more silicone than all of Temptation Island
JERRI Survivor: The Australian Outback
— Brought bitchiness to a whole other hemisphere — With orgasmic chocolate-fueled moans, turned a nation off Hershey’s — Was the Joe McCarthy of the outback: ”Are you, or have you ever been, a beef-jerky smuggler?”
THE LOCKSMITH Chains of Love
— Ability to get paycheck for job that could have been done by a large rock — Resisted urge to steer off cliff when chauffeuring irritating, shallow contestants — Looks like the offspring of Rick James and Bond nemesis Oddjob
WILL Big Brother 2
— With ”honest liar” approach, was only oxymoron in game full of morons — Defied ”reality” construct by clearly acting, but what the hell, he sure was fun — Did not adopt the surname Boogie
Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.