Newbies Mark and Kelly are gambling on having some fun, says Dalton Ross, while Hillary gets dissed again by a one-night lover
Temptation Island
Credit: Temptation Island 2: ason Willheim/Fox

The hot new couple spices up the dating pool

Changing contestants in the middle of a reality series is usually a sign of blatant desperation. Remember when the producers of the first ”Big Brother” were so insistent on breaking up their snooze-worthy cast that they tried to pay someone $50,000 to walk out of the house so they could insert some trouble-making floozy instead? (For the record, the idiots all turned down the money.) But we’re here to applaud the producers of ”Temptation Island 2” for pulling off one of the most lopsided trades since the Yankees stole a guy named Ruth from the poor Boston Red Sox.

Last week we said goodbye to bland and bitchy Tony and Genevieve. They came all the way to ”Temptation Island” and then decided that members of the opposite sex are really, really, scary. Tony kicked off a girl for putting her hands up his shirt, while Genevieve told all the single guys to back off because she missed her boyfriend. (Talk about not getting in the spirit of things. Party poopers!) Thankfully, host Mark L. Walberg staged a little ”Temptation” intervention and sent these two packing. But after learning from their mistake last season when they had to remove one of couples for having a baby, this time, producers had a contingency plan. Enter Mark and Kelly.

Call them scabs, minor leaguers, or whatever, but this new replacement couple looked as if they may have what it takes to keep up with party animals like Edmundo and Nikkole. Kelly began by describing Mark as ”a hardcore player.” We later learned that Mark is also a cop (wonder if he brought handcuffs?). Before they parted ways, Mark told Walberg that he wanted to do some ”true exploring.” A nervous Kelly responded by exploring the bottom of her wine glass.

Introducing the new participants to their fellow contestants ended up being a real treat as well. Edmundo, John, and Tommy all seemed pretty jealous of their new competition — Edmundo complained that all eyes were no longer on him, while John dubbed the new stud ”Italian Stallion,” which is odd because he doesn’t look much like Rocky to us. Over on the other side of the island, Kelly must’ve smuggled some No-Doz on shore because the woman was SUPER HYPER, acting way too excited about meeting everyone. The single guys didn’t seem to care though. They had their minds — and eyes — noticeably lower than her mouth.

As much as an improvement as Mark and Kelly are over Tony and Genevieve, for pure entertainment value, neither can match up to my man Edmundo. After seemingly having sex in a bathroom with everybody’s favorite slutty blonde, Hillary, he went on to choose another woman (Linda, for those of you keeping score out there) for his next date. That sent Hillary into a frightening on-camera shame spiral, with the poor lass complaining she always screws around with guys only to be dissed the very next day. Poor Hillary. And Edmundo seemed like such the settling down type, too.

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