Sexual confusion reaches an all-time high on the show where everybody eventually gets their due, says Dalton Ross

By Dalton Ross
Updated November 30, 2001 at 05:00 AM EST
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Temptation Island 2: Jason Willheim/FOX

Temptation Island

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Tony says No, but Edmundo goes for the grope

I love ”Temptation Island.” It’s rude. It’s crude. It’s one big televised train wreck. That said, I’ve never been able to figure out why in the name of Mark. L Walberg any legitimate couple would ever want to put themselves through such an exercise (except for the plentiful amounts of boo-tay available, of course). The reason pairs agree to go, I assume, is the expectation of an all-expense paid par-tay (okay, I now officially promise not to end any more words with the ”tay” suffix).

What they get, on the other hand, is usually a festival of tears, fears, and jeers. They end up feeling guilty for lusting after others, enraged at seeing their partner in a compromising position, and confused as to what the hell they?re supposed to do with host Walberg constantly flashing boobs and dudes in their faces. The ensuing meltdown is the stuff of reality TV legend.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that one of our fair pairs is primed and ready to enter the ”Temptation” Hall of Shame. And that would be Genevieve and Tony. The fun began on Thursday night’s episode when the ladies had to send two of their single studs packing. Genevieve insisted one of them be 25-year-old youth counselor Omar. His crime? Talking back to the dominating dame. He later opined that Genevieve is not ”all that.” (Yo, join the club, dude.) Apparently, Omar isn’t the only guy to be dissing G, but we’ll get back to that later.

Over on the other side of the island, the fellas also had to bid adieu to two singles. This provided the evening’s most confusing moment, and perhaps the most confusing moment in ”Temptation Island” history. (Granted, it’s a short history, but still.) Tony told Meredith he had chosen her to go. Fair enough. Tony then proceeded to say it was because she ”crossed the line.” Also, fair enough. But then the whole program took a chilling turn and we ended up in some sort of bizarro ”Temptation Island” as Tony informed us that Meredith’s crossing of the line was not over some rude comment or argument she incited but rather because this swingin’ single actually dared to ask him for a kiss. Not only that, but the foul temptress also presumed to put her hands up his shirt.

Okay, let’s just sit back and let that all sink in for a second…. Hello, Tony! This isn’t ”Touched by Angel” — you’re on freakin’ ”Temptation Island 2”! What should she be doing, sitting you down for a nice, quiet game of Yahtzee?!?

So Tony basically hates girls that come on to him. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Genevieve seems to hate anyone who’s not named Genevieve. After her first two dates, she announced to a posse of dudes at the bar (including host Walberg, who presumably is off duty while chugging suds with the boys) that she actually loves her Tony and doesn’t want any part of them. (This after getting wind that a lot of the guys think she’s stuck up and annoying. I wonder where they got that impression.)

She basically wants to go home. Does Tony, though, or is he having too much fun spraying himself with chick repellent? We were given a little peek at next week’s episode, in which the two have a fateful ”bonfire” meeting. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know it’s going to be good.

I also know that my man Edmundo is busy taking the show to new highs (or lows, rather). He proclaimed to have a real affinity for slutty blond Hillary, even going so far as to compliment her for being, in his words, ”real.” Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that she let him grab her tush while they were making out in his bed. Unlike Tony and Genevieve, he knows why he’s here, and he’s trying to make the most of it. But don’t worry. He’ll get his. They always do.

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Temptation Island

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