Fay Weldon's Shill Factor
Critics attack the author for being paid by Bulgari for new book "The Bulgari Connection"
The Bulgari Connection
The literati are up in arms that the new novel by Booker Prize-nominated author Fay Weldon was commissioned by the Italian jeweler Bulgari for an undisclosed sum. Weldon was contractually bound to make at least a dozen mentions of Bulgari in her cheeky romance, dutifully titled The Bulgari Connection (due in November from Grove/Atlantic). While some might publicly sniff at such product placement, money-minded book companies may soon look past their pride and prejudice. Luckily for them, many classics are in the public domain, so pesky authors and their even peskier estates can’t raise a stink. Just imagine how some of the great works in publishers’ catalogs might look if they read more like, well, catalogs.
FRANZ KAFKA’S ‘THE METAMORPHOSIS’
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his Craftmatic Adjustable Bed into a gigantic Orkin-resistant insect.”
MARK TWAIN’S ‘THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN’
“Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me. But she wouldn’t. She said it was a mean practice and wasn’t clean, and I must try to not do it any more. But I’m hooked on my Kool Natural Lights and their smooth fresh taste.”
CHARLES DICKENS’ ‘OLIVER TWIST’
“He rose from the table; and advancing to the master, basin and spoon in hand, said: somewhat alarmed at his own temerity: ‘Please, sir, I want some more Quaker Instant Oatmeal Express. I beg you, sir, it’s quick, portable, and mess-free.'”
KARL MARX & FRIEDRICH ENGELS’ ‘THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO’
“Let the ruling classes tremble at a communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their Tiffany 18-karat gold chains. They have a world to win. Working men of all countries, unite!”