The funniest TV lines from the week of Sept. 14, 2001

“Well, you’re definitely straight then.” BUNKY, after Will ate food he’d dropped on the floor, on Big Brother 2

“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.” JOAN RIVERS, on Live With Regis and Kelly

“You can definitely tell he dresses to the left.” Defensive tackle TONY SIRAGUSA, critiquing coach BRIAN BILLICK‘s too-tight shorts, on HBO’s Hard Knocks: Training Camp With the Baltimore Ravens

“More bad news for Gary Condit: Today he was banned for life from Little League baseball.” DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show

“They don’t have a point. They can’t have a point—they don’t pay rent.” Darryl (D.L. HUGHLEY), after his wife, Yvonne (ELISE NEAL), said their kids had a point, on The Hughleys