Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet
What the country is talking about this week...
1 ROCK STAR Mark Wahlberg discovers that being a famous singer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. So he gives it all up and becomes a movie star.
2 TARAN NOAH SMITH The 17-year-old former Home Improvement star can’t wait till he’s 18 for his trust fund. That’s exactly why it’s in a trust fund.
3 THE OTHER HALF A male version of The View that sees women through men’s eyes. Naked.
4 LITTLE LEAGUE A Bronx team’s star pitcher lied about his age. He never should have used his Medicare card for ID.
5 BAND OF BROTHERS The HBO miniseries tells the true story of Easy Company during WWII. They fought a whole war with less swearing than one episode of The Sopranos.
6 THE MUSKETEER Didn’t there used to be three? What’s this guy’s motto, ”All for one”?
7 FAY WELDON The British author was paid by a jewelry company to mention its name in her latest book. People pay me not to mention them.
8 NFL REF LOCKOUT This could be serious. It’ll take weeks to teach scabs how to make stunningly bad, game-reversing calls.
9 KATE WINSLET The Titanic star is splitting with her husband of almost three years. Maybe she can get Celine Dion to sing ”My Child Support Will Go On.”
10 SOUL SURVIVORS A teen has disturbing visions after a car accident. But it’s just daytime TV in her hospital room.
11 JORGE POSADA The Yankee slugger is in trouble for spraying saliva all over an umpire’s face. All he has to say is ”I’m thhho thhhhorry.”
12 TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME Vivica A. Fox has 10 days to straighten out her two-timing boyfriend. That’s 9 days, 23 hours, and 59 minutes more than she needs.
13 AFI AWARDS That makes this the last movie-oriented group in Hollywood to hold an awards show. Besides AA.
14 MICHAEL JACKSON He’s reuniting with his brothers for the first time in ages. And they’re getting along so well there are plans to do this every 10 or 20 years.
15 EBAY The online auction service is developing a TV program. It’ll be called Antiques Sideshow.