by Adam Bluestein and I.W. Nicholson
LILLIN’ (v.) Making the charts after adopting a moniker with ”Lil”’ in it (see Lil’ Kim, Lil’ Romeo, Lil’ Bow Wow).
PURPLE DRAIN (n.) Religiously motivated removal of all nasty lyrics of a former sexy motherf—er.
HI-JACK (v.) To emerge from a scandal as a cult star with a big TV deal (see ”You Don’t Know Jack”’s Paul Reubens).
STONED (adj.) Preferring to face a man eating lizard rather than one’s wife (see Phil Bronstein and Sharon Stone).
SONY BALONEY (n.) A film blurb that’s too good to be true.
JOIE DE JOLIE (n.) Euphoria from having a hit movie, a great sex life, and a vial of your spouse’s blood around your neck.
DEVOLUTION (n.) Trading high art for low comedy (see ”Evolution”’s Julianne Moore).
BACKSTREET SLIDE (n.) Inevitable decline of a career based on the loyalty of preadolescent girls.