The 'SNL' star gets stupid about his MTV movie awards hosting gig

By Dalton Ross
Updated June 08, 2001 at 04:00 AM EDT
Credit: Jimmy Fallon: Nigel Parry/CPI

It turns out Jimmy Fallon is ready for prime time — on cable at least. The ”Saturday Night Live” player will spend his Thursday night live (to tape) hosting the MTV Movie Awards with Kirsten Dunst on June 7. To help Fallon get the snappy host banter flowing, we decided to load his TelePrompTer with a few stupid questions.

If you were forced to sit through a marathon of ”Saturday Night Live” spin-off movies, what film would make you put a gun in your mouth? And you can’t say ”It’s Pat” or ”Stuart Saves His Family” — too easy. It’s ”The Jimmy Fallon Story,” starring Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, but it was only released in Amsterdam.

You once made fun of MTV by impersonating Carson Daly with the words ”I am a total tool.” Well, who’s the tool now, funnyman?!? Actually, it was a ”massive tool,” not a ”total tool,” so if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go back to listening to ”Massive Eclipse of the Heart.” It’s a remix done by Total Attack.

Well played, Fallon, well played. So, I see ”Big Momma’s House” received only one MTV Movie Awards nomination, which leads me to my next question: How do you sleep at night? Very warm, in my flannel ”You So Crazy!” pajamas.

Now, it appears ”Gladiator” is leading the field with five nominations, followed by ”Cast Away” and ”Save the Last Dance” with four apiece, all of which gets me thinking about Kirsten Dunst’s phone number. What is that again? I think it’s 1-555-SHES-ONLY-19, you perv.

Hey, I’m just asking! And I’m just tellin’. Dial it, she’ll pick up.

Moving on, there’s nothing funny about the movie ”Hannibal,” but why don’t you go ahead and make a joke about it anyway? Nothing funny? That was one of my favorite comedies of all time. That and Siegfried & Roy’s 3-D IMAX movie, ”The Magic Box.” I mean, you get to see Roy’s codpiece like you’ve never seen it before! It’s basically poking you in the eye. I was more afraid of that than the tiger.

Is it comforting to know that it’s statistically impossible for you and Kirsten to suck more as hosts than Shawn and Marlon Wayans did at the Video Music Awards? [hearty laughter] Well, I haven’t seen the final numbers yet, but whenever the odds are out, I’ll place my bet.