Forget the million bucks. There's more glory in these "Survivor 2" moments.

By Josh Wolk
Updated April 13, 2001 at 04:00 AM EDT
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  • CBS
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RUDY BOESCH AWARD FOR BIBLE RECYCLING
Rodger, who one-upped Rudy (who threatened to use the holy tome for toilet paper) by actually making kindling out of it

BEST FUTURE DISPLAY IN THE HARD ROCK CAFE IN HELL
Jerri’s bongo drum

CHEAPEST SURVIVOR PROP
The Immunity Idol, which looks like a Big Gulp mug from the Outback Steakhouse gift shop

CLEAREST SIGN A CONTESTANT HAD NOT WATCHED FIRST SURVIVOR
Debb, for her post-ousting statement: ”I still thought a lot of [the game] boiled down to mental toughness and physical ability…but none of that even mattered!”

THE MAC AND ME DENIAL AWARD
Colby, who calls his pact with Jerri a ”union,” forgoing Rich’s word alliance

MOST UNLIKELY COSMETICS SPOKESMODEL
Mike, who sported Pig’s Blood Rouge — the glamorous and ham-orous makeup that gives you the look you’d kill for!

MOST POLLUTED WATER FIRST RUNNER-UP
The Kucha river after Kimmi was finally scoured
WINNER The puddle Jerri squatted in for her interviews, turning it into a sitz bath of treachery

BEST PR FOR THE AARP
Rodger’s cliff jump

SOUND MOST LIKELY TO APPEAR IN YOUR SURVIVOR NIGHTMARES (Tie) The chicken’s agonized squawk after Rodger lopped off its head/Mike’s post-burn howl as the medics treated him

MOST LIKELY TO REACH ORGASM AFTER EATING A SALTINE
Amber, who was in salivary ecstasy after she tasted Jerri’s tortilla

WORST SUBSTITUTE FOR NOUGAT
The all-bug center found in the Kucha figs

MOST INTENTIONAL HOMAGE TO SUSAN HAWK
In Mad Dog’s vote against Kel, she said, ”If you were lying in the Simpson Desert, dying of thirst, every single one of us would give you a drink of water.”

MOST UNINTENTIONAL HOMAGE TO SUSAN HAWK
Mad Dog, for then spelling Kel’s name ”Cal”

THE ”CUTTING OFF YOUR NOSE TO SPITE STUFFING YOUR FACE” AWARD
Jeff, for saying ”I hope [Mike, while hunting] loses our knife, just to give a valuable reason to go off on the bastard.”

MOST IRONIC FAILURE
Amber — Jerri’s blindest follower — who lost a challenge for Ogakor because she was unable to follow Jerri while blindfolded

LEAST SUBTLE SPONSOR SHOUT-OUT
Tina’s ”I want a bag of Doritos more than anything in the world” quote. More than drinking Mountain Dew out of a Reebok shoe from Target?

MOST PAINFUL REMINDER OF HIGH SCHOOL
When Kel weakly offered razors to Jerri’s ”cool kids” — who had treated him unfairly — they then snickered and kicked him out of the tribe.

MOST LIKELY TO MAKE PIGS BEG TO BE KILLED
Jerri, for her criminal campfire cover of Fiona Apple: wannabe actress, neverbe singer!

SEAN KENNIFF MEMORIAL AWARD FOR ACHIEVEMENT IN POINTLESS
INVENTIONS Nick, for his Kucha kitchen and chair. No Superpole 2001?

WORST CAMPAIGN SPEECH
Mitchell, in his runoff against Keith at Tribal Council, saying ”Physically, mentally, emotionally I’m drained.” Translation: Read my lips

–BEST USE OF ERYKAH BADU’S DISCARDED TURBANS Elisabeth’s immunity headdress

FUTURE SCRIPT DOCTOR FOR HANNIBAL LECTER
Mike, for calmly saying “Life is just a funny little blending of experiences,” after brutally slaughtering a pig

CATCHPHRASE MOST LIKELY TO SWEEP THE BAWDY-BACKPACKER COMMUNITY
Jeff’s “I woke up…and there was a little fire in my woolly!”

LEAST LIKELY TO INHERIT THE MISS MANNERS COLUMN
Mike, explaining why it’s okay to call Kimmi dirty, tells her “If I had a booger hanging out of my nose, and you told me about it, I would say thank you.”

LEAST TEMPTING FRENCH KISSER
Kimmi, after displaying her black, mangrove-worm-stained tongue

PAULIE WALNUTS AWARD FOR ACHIEVEMENT IN TWO-TONED HAIR Keith, for his white-beard/dark-hair contrast

TOURIST FROM HELL
Colby, for admiring the wonder of the Great Barrier Reef…and then ripping hunks off for souvenirs

Survivor: The Australian Outback

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  • TV Show
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status
  • In Season
network
  • CBS

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