By EW Staff
Updated March 30, 2001 at 05:00 AM EST

”You look great, Arthur. The purple really brings out the veins in your legs.” Doug (KEVIN JAMES) to his Hawaiian-attired father-in-law (JERRY STILLER), on The King of Queens

”The U.S. is cracking down on tainted beef from Europe. As a result, the U.S. is deporting Fabio.” CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

”If you’re looking for your Aunt Karen, she’s not here. She doesn’t work on days that end with ‘day.”’ Grace (DEBRA MESSING) to Karen’s nephew (PAUL SATTERFIELD), on Will & Grace

”It was a roller-coaster ride on Wall Street today. The Dow Jones average looked like Dick Cheney’s EKG.” DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show

”Pope John Paul II beatified over 200 candidates for sainthood this week. The candidates were all nuns, priests and other heroes from the Spanish Civil War, plus financier Marc Rich.” TINA FEY on SNL