By EW Staff
Updated March 30, 2001 at 05:00 AM EST

GANDOLFINI ENVY (n.) The irrational, widespread desire to be more like overweight, balding, middle-aged mobsters.

ALBANIAN (n.) A devotee of luscious-lipped Dark Angel beauty Jessica Alba.

JACK UP (v.) To insert a flamboyant gay character into a TV series.

98[DEGREES] OF SEPARATION (n.) The theory that the multitude of teen-pop music acts are really the same six or seven people in different disguises, dating only among themselves.

COSTNER-NATION (n.) The frustration of an aging matinee idol whose films are 3,000 miles from turning a profit.

BETTE NOIR (n.) An abandoned sitcom built around a fading Hollywood star (e.g., Midler, Geena Davis, John Goodman).

SCARECROWE (n.) An FBI agent assigned to guard an A-list bad boy against kidnappers.

— Adam Bluestein and I.W. Nicholson