A TV psychic answers EW's burning questions
Get the paranormal scoop on ''Survivor,'' Robert Downey Jr., and more
Sorry, Dionne. With you and your network of fortune telling friends nowhere to be found these days, we sought out a new seer to solve our pop culture conundrums. Luckily, you can’t channel surf for long before seeing the pitch from the American Association of Professional Psychics, whose ads’ gauntlet tossing claims (”We are the real thing”) make up for their lack of B list celebrity spokespeople. We connected with one such certified oracle — a Southern soothsayer named Jan — to get some outrageous fortunes.
? So, first things first: Please tell me they’re not going to cancel ”DAG”! No! I think it will stay on. But they’ll make it more controversial, and add more topical story lines. Besides, I think it’s a good show.
? Any idea who’s going to win ”Survivor”? No, but I can tell who’s going off. Jerri’s going to cause some hard feelings and trouble — so she’s going to be leaving fairly soon. And her acting bug is going to fall flat. But Mitchell’s eventually going to sell some of his music — I think we’re going to hear a lot more from him. It’s also going to get tough for Rodger as it goes on, as well as for Kimmi — I see them both going soon. [Editor’s note: This interview took place the day before Kimmi’s ouster — oooh, eerie!]
? How long is this Kelly Ripa thing going to last? From what I feel, I don’t think she’ll last very long — she may go another six months to a year. It’s hard for anybody who’s going to take Kathie Lee’s place.
? Is Robert Downey Jr. going to stay out of jail this time? I don’t really see him going to jail — but that could be because I don’t want him to go to jail. I feel this was a setup deal, but I can’t see who exactly set it up, and I’ve been working on that for a long time.
? This one doesn’t have to do with TV, but I gotta ask: How hot is my future wife going to be? Well, bless your heart. I see dark, curly shoulder length hair and dark eyes — a cozy kind of color. And luscious lips.
? Look out, Jessica Alba. Final question: Are they going to be able to keep the Oscar ceremony under three hours this year? I don’t know. But what I really can’t figure out is who’s going to be hosting it. I think it might be Garry Shandling…
? You know what? They already announced Steve Martin as host. Well, see, I was wrong on that one.