As Dr. T & the Women would have it, women — and Dallas women in particular — spend their time squeaking, squawking, and treating their gynecologist’s office like the site of a gossipy weekly garden party. Quite an accomplishment that they find time to manage even that, given the energy spent matching their fur collars to their cuffs.

The idea would be less offensive if there was actually a plot in Robert Altman’s tedious film, which stars Richard Gere as an overworked, always patient OB-GYN surrounded by a group of total lunatics, from his ex- wife to be (Farrah Fawcett) who’s in the nuthouse, to his boozy sister in law (Laura Dern) and two daughters (Kate Hudson and Tara Reid) who should be. The fractured backbone of the story is the planning of one daughter’s wedding, while the other daughter casts doubts as to — gasp! — the betrothed’s sexual orientation, her choice of maid of honor, and her decision to hold the wedding outdoors or in. Helen Hunt is put in a thankless role (one of her four last year) as a golf pro who stands for none of this nonsense. Neither should you.