January 19, 2001 at 05:00 AM EST

While watching late-night TV, have you ever been mesmerized by the ads for those sometimes steamy-, sometimes stupid-looking mail-order videos but frustrated because you could afford only one? It’s a decision worthy of Solomon, assuming the King wore a crown made of beer cans. Let’s weigh a pair of contenders: Through endless flashing montages (frontal, dorsal, and always drunkal), the titular Girls teach two lessons: One, even nudity can get tedious; and two, it might be wise to surgically attach water-resistant T-shirts to your daughters until they’re 35. Backyard, on the other hand, celebrates the homegrown creativity of youth, as teens design their own wrestling characters and find new ways to pummel each other by utilizing such common household items as trash cans, trampolines, barbed wire, and lighter fluid. However, one does start to reevaluate the theory that media violence has no effect on kids when they’re head-butting each other’s groins. Our advice? Save your money to buy a space shuttle ticket: There’s clearly no hope for Earth’s future.

You May Like

Comments

EDIT POST