Noah Robischon guides you to Modern Humorist, the Onion, and the other funniest election sites

By Noah Robischon
November 13, 2000 at 05:00 AM EST

The Web provides more jokes than news about the election

If you’re still trying to load those slower than Southern molasses news sites for updates about the election, forget it. None of them are answering the burning question: Why was Florida admitted to the Union in the first place? No, the Web should be left to do what it’s always done best: Poke fun at everything we hold sacred. Here are six sites that should help cure your post election stress syndrome.

Behind The Scenes at Time
Ever wonder what it’s like to work at a national news magazine during the closest Presidential race in decades? The tension, the debates, the… foosball! Time Magazine’s Joel Stein wrote a comic essay for Slate that describes the chocolate treats, the geeky e-mails, and — yes — the body odors at the all night vigil with Time’s New York staff.

Capitol Ill
Rappin’ and rhymin’ is so much more appealing than whinin’. If the candidates had written their own lyrics for this hip hop parody on, choosing the President would have been a whole lot easier.

Election Chaos 2000
Don’t look to CNN, the New York Times, or the Drudge Report for this scoop: The transcript of Gore’s early morning unconcession phone call to Bush. Don’t ask me how Modern Humorist got their hands on it, but some funny business is definitely at work. There’s also a Dan Rather Simile Quiz that crackles like a pig roasting over a hickory fire.

The Onion
Proving once again that strangeness is truer than fiction, the Onion managed to be the only newspaper in the United States to accurately call the election. Their Wednesday morning banner headline roared ”Bush or Gore: ‘A New Era Dawns.”’ Which got me thinking: Didn’t these candidates’ mothers ever teach them how to share?

Don’t Quote Me
There are plenty of in depth explanations of the Electoral College system and lawyerly analyses of the recount process, but everything you need to know about politics can be summed up in a ”snippy” remark. Political Humor has collected every zingy one liner from here to Dan Quayle.

Distort the Future President
For the first time this year, I felt something akin to control in picking the next President, thanks to‘s game click and drag game; it lets me horribly distort the faces of both Al Gore and George W. Bush. What I discovered: Bush resembles a gremlin no matter which direction I pull his face, and Gore looks exactly like Beavis if you drag his forehead down.

This just in: is calling for a recount of the top 6 post election humor sites. Nominate your own candidates below…