September 22, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT

”What boobs?”
Star Jones, after Lisa Ling said her boobs were starting to sag, on The View

”Before I went to the podium, Ray hugged me and said, ‘How did that happen?”’
Patricia Heaton, describing Everybody Loves Raymond costar Ray Romano’s reaction to her Emmy win, on The Late Late Show

”George W. Bush unveiled his drug plan for senior citizens. George W.’s plan is that seniors should refuse to answer any questions about whether or not they’ve ever taken drugs.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”I auditioned for the part of vice president [on The West Wing]. They said, ‘No — too Jewish.”’
Garry Shandling on The 52nd Annual Emmy Awards

”More than 150 heads of state are attending the U.N. Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn’t even know they had.”
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

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