September 22, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT

Will Charlie Sheen have the stuff to replace Michael J. Fox on Spin City? Will Bette Midler cut it on the small screen? Will Marion Jones capture a record five gold medals at the Olympics? Who cares! The biggest story of the fall TV season is … Survivor! Starting Sept. 15, CBS is rerunning the summer sensation. Since we already know who wins, we’ve devised a way to make the second time around the isle just as fun. May we present: The Survivor Drinking Game.

Every time someone says ”strategy,” take a drink.

Every time someone says ”Rich” and ”alliance” together, take two drinks.

Every time Kelly shifts alliances, discreetly pour some of your drink into the cup of the person on your right.

Every time host Jeff Probst says ”The tribe has spoken,” blow out flaming kamikaze shot and drink carefully.

Every time Dirk quotes from the Bible, announce ”The Lord has spoken!” and take a sip of nonalcoholic wine.

Every time a Survivor bitches about the rice, take a bite of lobster thermidor.

Every time Rudy uses the word ”queer,” shout ”Not in a homosexual way!” and shotgun can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Every time Sonja appears on screen, take a gentle sip of Ensure.

Every time there’s a shot of Jenna’s forehead peeling, apply SPF 30 to the person on your left.

Every time Rudy has a weathered, blank look on his face, take a drink. (Warning: Do not attempt this on empty stomach.)

Every time Sean mentions the alphabetical voting system, raise your glass and toast, ”Here’s to you, Dr. Dumb-ass!”

Every time the show cuts to stock Discovery Channel-esque footage of scary wildlife, make disturbing monkey noises.

Every time Rich gets naked, remove one item of clothing and cover the TV screen.

Every time Sue says ”tapioca,” drop drink and run screaming from the room.

You May Like