This and more in's exclusive sneak peek at the ex Survivor's diary

Ramona Gray, Survivor excerpts Ramona’s ”Survivor” diary. Read about her final two days on the island, and how she adjusted to getting the boot.

DAY 11

WE LOST — I’m bummed out, but tomorrow is the one that counts! I did find out that when Jenna went down to test/ check out the reward yesterday, she told them all we wanted was a spice rack! We ONLY wanted the spice rack? Do you know how PISSED I would’ve been if we’d won and the only thing we got was that damn spice rack? No pillows, no toilet paper, no HAMMOCK (that’s what I wanted); I would’ve blown a gasket.

Can’t we all just get along? — Rodney King
It happened! He did it! Finally! Joel caught a fish! WHOO HOO! He and Gervase had gone out and vowed not to come in without one — well, after about two hours passed, we started to give up. Who would’ve thought it would take him getting OFF the raft into shallow water? Well, what he caught was a doozy — I think they called it a cuddle fish [sic]. I really don’t care what they called it. We cooked it and it gave a welcomed new taste other than that rice.

DAY 12

I feel great and I’m ready to compete and win.

Once again, I’ve witnessed something totally phenomenal! First, as myself, Gervase, and Joel are playing cards, we see the black and white eagle like the one from the ”Eagle and Snake” (about Pulau Tiga and Snake Island). It’s flying not far out over the water and we’re admiring it as it circles and soars — when it suddenly DIVES and catches what I think is a fish but what everyone else is saying was a snake! It was awesome. People have spent months out here to capture that very thing and never see it, and I witness it on my front porch playing cards: That’s incredible!

Well, I’m sitting in a tent writing this, so you can assume that I was the lucky one this time! YEP, they voted me off. I was stunned, to say the least. I suppose I was always vulnerable from the first Council, but somehow I thought the ax would fall on either Jenna or Colleen next — clearly, I was wrong!

[Tribal Council votes] 4-Ramona 2-Colleen 1-Jenna

So, in the [post-eviction] confessional, I basically said that I was glad that I came — that I thought nothing happened by chance and that everything was ordained by God; that out of over 6,000 applicants, I was chosen not by chance — that I was there for a reason, and although I’m not sure what it was, it must’ve been fulfilled — that I have no regrets and that I had FUN. This was the adventure of a lifetime and I made the most of it. EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY SECOND OF IT, and I’m glad. I knew that I was strong; now I know I’m STRONGER. I can do ANYTHING and NOTHING can stop me! This is all part of God’s plan.

I don’t know people’s reasons for their votes, and I don’t know if I care — I’m not mad. If anything, I’m glad! I just took a shower and before that had shrimp, beef, something leafy, AND guess what? RICE — yep, freakin’ RICE. Of all the foods to give someone after 12 days of rice 3 times a day — but, you know, I killed it, right? And with my fingers nonetheless (what’s a fork?)!

I’m incredibly proud of myself — I knew I could do it! Now the hard part will be waiting for the show to air and all the hoopla that follows!

See the whole story in this week’s EW, on newstands Friday, July 21. Or see yesterday’s entry on — or visit our ”Survivor” hub page.