The funniest lines from the web the week of Feb. 4, 2000.

By EW Staff
Updated February 04, 2000 at 05:00 AM EST

“In kindergarten, there was this kid who sat next to me on the school bus, and he was really old. He used to make me say all these bad words, and I would get into trouble. I was, like, 5, so I didn’t know what they meant.” — Malcolm in the Middle‘s FRANKIE MUNIZ on the worst thing he’s ever done, on E! Online

“That was me naked in that other scene. That was my backside. That’s important to me…. Somebody said to me today, ‘Now, in that double…’ And I said, ‘Hey, there ain’t no double, that was me.’ I even turned around in the scene so you could see my face, but the cinematography was kind of hard.” — The Hurricane‘s DENZEL WASHINGTON on truth in acting, on Rough Cut

“It opened on a Friday, and by Tuesday I couldn’t…drive my car down the street.” — Simpatico‘s SHARON STONE on the overnight fame brought on by Basic Instinct, on

“[I] had this incredibly intense, emotional relationship with something that didn’t exist…. My job was to approach this absolutely as realistically as possible…and pour my feelings into this space…. Whatever. This is a nutty business.” — Stuart Little‘s GEENA DAVIS on acting opposite a computer-generated mouse, on Mr. Showbiz