Ken Tucker's got more on his mind than the Yanks versus the Braves

By Ken Tucker
Updated October 26, 1999 at 04:00 AM EDT

Who needs the World Series, anyway?

Four reasons why I can’t get excited about the World Series:

(1) I’m no sports fan at all, but don’t the Braves tend to fold in tense situations? Isn’t this just going to be a New York rout?

(2) On Tuesday, call me a girly-man, but I’m watching ”Once & Again” instead of game 3. Now that ABC’S ”O&A”/”NYPD Blue” time-period battle has been settled (”O&A” stays at Tuesdays at 10 until November; ”NYPD” returns Jan. 11 to run for 22 weeks — no repeats! Yay!), I can sit back and enjoy the delicate travails of this divorcées-dating drama. It’s far more suspenseful than Yanks versus Braves.

(3) I can’t stop thinking about Howard Stern’s separation. It’s impossible; the sky has fallen; Y2K has arrived early; the apocalypse is near. How could Stern and Alison, his wife of umpteen years, be splitsville? For years, Howard has trumpeted his rock-solid marriage to pillory multiple-married movie stars — what’s he gonna do now? Start dating the strippers he lusts after when they guest on his show? Truly, this is the first time in all these years that Stern has done something that really shocks me.

(4) Gotta make a decision about my Halloween costume: Shall I go out as Brad Pitt in ”Fight Club” (costume: chin stubble, garish ’70s yard-sale clothes, bar of soap) or as Alan Alda in ”ER” (costume: white coat, stethoscope, and lots of distracted, annoying mumbling)? Decisions, decisions… Either way, no communing with Bob Costas for me.