October 01, 1999 at 04:00 AM EDT

”Bill Gates announced a plan today to give $1 billion to fund scholarships for minority students. The donation comes with some strings attached, however, since the NAACP must now be renamed the MSNAACP.” CRAIG KILBORN on The Late Late Show

”It was the single greatest assault on my senses since I was in prison.” PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFUL AND FORMER VIETNAM P.O.W. JOHN MCCAIN, about attending the MTV Video Music Awards, on The Tonight Show

”I’ve had three kids. These were not just for show. These were working breasts.” DEBRA (PATRICIA HEATON) when she thinks Ray (Ray Romano), wants her to have a boob job, on Everybody Loves Raymond

”Tupac Shakur has a book of poetry coming out, and he’s getting good reviews. The New Yorker said that his poems ‘make T.S. Eliot look like a straight-up bitch.”’ CHRIS ROCK on The Chris Rock Show

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