Double Jeopardy case closed; Brad Pitt doesn't impress much

By Megan Quitkin
Updated September 24, 1999 at 04:00 AM EDT

Name performers: Remember when singers used to croon about love and loss? No more. The favorite topic in these entertainment-glutted times: movie stars. Yes, musicians are dropping more names than Liz Smith — and sometimes just as cattily. Herewith, a peek.

Song: ”That Don’t Impress Me Much” by Shania Twain Name-dropping lyric: ”Okay, so you’re Brad Pitt/That don’t impress me much” Harsh-o-meter: Vicious. Was Gwyneth a ghostwriter?

Song:”If I Had a $1,000,000” by Barenaked Ladies Name-dropping lyric:”If I had a $1,000,000/I’d buy you John Davidson’s remains” Harsh-o-meter: Deadly. The TV career of the That’s Incredible! host may be dead, but he’s still hanging on in real life.

Song: ”Hey Leonardo” by Blessid Union of Souls Name-dropping lyric:”She likes me for me/Not because I hang with Leonardo” Harsh-o-meter: Medium. Leo reportedly doesn’t like the song for the song.

Song: ”Summer Girls” by LFO Name-dropping lyric: ”Fell deep in love but now we ain’t speakin’/Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton” Harsh-o-meter: Neutral. These non-sequitur-loving rappers could use a new rhyming dictionary.

Song: ”Lullaby” by Shawn Mullins Name-dropping lyric: ”Her parents threw big parties/Everyone was there/They hung out with folks like Dennis Hopper.” Harsh-o-meter: So-so. The Easy Rider rebel is now just some old guy with a cocktail napkin.

Double Trouble The answer: Absolutely not. The question: Does the intriguing premise of the new Ashley Judd thriller, Double Jeopardy, have any relation to reality? In the film, Judd’s husband (Bruce Greenwood) successfully frames her for his ”murder” and then disappears. When Judd gets out of jail, she reasons she can’t be convicted for the same crime twice and sets out to hunt down her ex. Reality check, please? A bunch of legal hogwash, says Harvard Law School prof and talk-show staple Alan Dershowitz, who’s been using a similar scenario as a teaching tool for years. ”The crime is killing a person at a certain time and place,” says Dershowitz. ”And if she killed him at a different time or place, it would be a different crime.” Case closed.