Kid Rock: The Next Generation
With Britney and the BSB still selling boatloads, record-label A&R reps have put out an APB on any pip-squeak with passable pitch. Craving an adolescent ABBA or a counterfeit Christina? The booty-shakin’ youthquake isn’t letting up anytime soon. Here are the new musical youth.
1 MICHAEL FREDO
ALBUM Introducing (Oct. 5) RECIPE Throw one cup saccharine balladry, one cup synthy-smooth soul fixings against kitchen wall. Watch it stick. TASTY LYRIC ”Candy, baby, oooh, oh yes.” SECRET INGREDIENT Hilfiger genes. The 20-year-old hottie is the first signing to Andy Hilfiger’s (Tommy’s brother) AH! record company; he’s the jeans mogul’s nephew.
ALBUM Step One (Oct. 12) RECIPE Soak five videogenic twentysomethings in caffeinated disco grooves. Sprinkle lightly with processed ABBA cheese. TASTY LYRIC ”I wanted your love but look what it’s done to me.” SECRET INGREDIENT Jive Records. These coed Brit popsters boast the Backstreet Boys and Britney as label mates.
3 MANDY MOORE
ALBUM So Real (Oct. 26) RECIPE Reheat Britney’s jailbait beats; sugarcoat with generic pop/R&B flavoring. TASTY LYRIC ”Like sugar to my heart, oooh baby/I’m craving for you.” SECRET INGREDIENT Orlando’s Trans Continental Media: The 15-year-old Orlando native recorded her debut at the same studio that nurtured the BSB and ‘N Sync.
4 JESSICA SIMPSON
ALBUM Sweet Kisses (Nov. 9) RECIPE Combine Mariah’s supersize pipes and Christina’s bubblegum bounce. Serve hot to suburban cheerleaders and repressed housewives. TASTY LYRIC ”I don’t wanna take advantage/ Or maybe I do.” SECRET INGREDIENT God. The 19-year-old Texan got her start on the Christian Youth Conference circuit.
ALBUM The Abba Generation (Nov. 9) RECIPE Defrost (again) ABBA’s hits 17 years after the band’s breakup; dress with fresh garnish (four ultra-boppy Swedish teens) and serve as new dish. TASTY LYRIC C’mon, you already know the words. SECRET INGREDIENT History. ABBA sold more than 250 million records.