TV's funniest lines from April 24 to 30

April 30, 1999 at 04:00 AM EDT

”In Esquire, David Duchovny said people treat celebrities like children. Duchovny had more to say on the subject, but his agent had to take him to go potty.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”So, you’re finally dropping the old balls-and-chain?”
Stuart (Alan Ruck), after Carter (Michael Boatman) said he was breaking up with his boyfriend, on Spin City

”Calista Flockhart has announced plans to return to Broadway this summer. The actress says that she misses the theater and she’s looking forward to throwing up New York food again.”
Craig Kilborn on The Late Late Show

”In honor of tax season, for an extra $50, the hookers in Times Square will handle your extension.”
David Letterman on Late Show

”[Dan] Quayle delivered the news [of his presidential candidacy] at his Indiana high school, where — like in Vietnam — he didn’t see any action.”
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

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