Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet
The 15 hottest topics the week of April 16, 1999
1 Hannibal Lecter
The evil genius will return in the newly written sequel to The Silence of the Lambs. It’s not a whodunit, it’s a whoateit.
2 Bob Dylan and Paul Simon
The two are going to perform together. It’s the ”Bridge Over Trmmllehg Grrhlguhghu” Tour.
3 Lucy Lawless
The Xena star says lesbians made her show a hit. Then why couldn’t they do it for Ellen?
4 Monica Lewinsky
Aaron Spelling may put her in Sunset Beach in a recurring role. As a breakwater.
He was hit in the face by a bird while riding a roller coaster. Fortunately his chest and hair weren’t injured.
6 Charlie’s Angels
Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and possibly Angelina Jolie will go places other undercover cops can’t. Like a Richard Tyler sample sale.
The music channel is making up slang words out of thin air as part of a new promotion. How Manson is that?
8 David Blaine
The magician will stay in an enclosed tomb for seven days without a bathroom break. To practice, he flew coach everywhere.
9 Tom Arnold
He and his 24-year-old wife are getting a divorce. He wouldn’t let her sit at the grown-up table.
10 Gas prices
They’ve gone up almost 20 cents a gallon in the past month. If it goes any higher, you’ll have to lease it.
11 ”Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)”
Baz Luhrmann’s hit song was based on a newspaper column. Now he’s working on his next single, ”Dear Abby.”
12 Star Trek: Voyager
UPN is cutting two minutes from each episode to squeeze in more ads. Can’t they just bend time or something?
13 Jerry Hall
She may only get $8 million in the divorce from Mick Jagger. He’s had dates that got more than that.
14 Jenny Jones trial
She was shocked when one of her guests shot and killed another. They usually die of shame.
15 Never Been Kissed
Drew Barrymore goes back to high school. She wants to get into a better community college.