The 15 hottest topics for the week of February 15, 1999

By Jim Mullen
Updated February 19, 1999 at 05:00 AM EST

1 AND THE BEAT GOES ON The made-for-TV version of the Sonny and Cher story. The hard part was finding a Cher look-alike who was also a woman.

2 CHINESE NEW YEAR It’s the Year of the Rabbit. But many Chinese computers still think it’s the Year of the Dog.

3 MY FAVORITE MARTIAN An extraterrestrial finds our Earth customs strange. Like our habit of making bad movies from mediocre TV shows.

4 MIKE TYSON He has to spend a year in jail. He’s got to learn he just can’t go around beating people up for free.

5 BLAST FROM THE PAST Brendan Fraser spent the past 30 years without any contact with the outside world. Then he left Washington.

6 MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE Widower Kevin Costner sends notes to his dead wife from his sailboat. They say, ”I’m still looking for the real killer.”

7 OFFICE SPACE A comedy about life in a big bureaucratic corporation. Didn’t you get the memo about it?

8 MATTEL The toy company is making Michael Jordan action figures. Shouldn’t they be Michael Jordan inaction figures?

9 WINE The government is considering labels that say it’s good for you. The printing’s so blurry you can barely read it.

10 THE GRAMMY AWARDS The music industry’s biggest night of the year. If you don’t count Puff Daddy’s birthday.

11 CHELSEA CLINTON PEOPLE put her on the cover for doing absolutely nothing noteworthy. Isn’t that what Fergie is for?

12 TOO RICH: THE DORIS DUKE STORY One woman’s tragedy of being born into a family of fabulous wealth. Some people just can’t get a break.

13 FUR LABELS They want mink coats sold in Beverly Hills to describe how the animals were killed. Like ”Heatstroke.”

14 STEPHEN KING’S STORM OF THE CENTURY A huge snowstorm in a tiny town turns into something evil beyond words: a snowboarder convention.

15 CONFIRMATION The show that asks the question ”Have aliens landed on this planet?” Yes, and they run our networks.