Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet
1 Jennifer Aniston
Her unauthorized picture appears on packages of condoms in Russia. It replaces the low-selling Paula Jones condoms.
Woody Allen examines the pitfalls of fame. Like making the front page every time you date your girlfriend’s daughter.
3 McCaughey Septuplets
They’re celebrating their first birthday. It won’t be long until they say their first word: endorsement.
That’s what Babe Ruth’s first home-run ball hit in Yankee Stadium sold for. For that kind of money you could have bought a couple of stadium hot dogs.
Rumors say the lanky star has put on 25 pounds. Most of it above his neck.
6 Mrs. Sean Connery
Someone stole $1 million worth of her jewels while she was out to dinner. SPECTRE is the prime suspect.
7 Enemy of the State
Will Smith accidentally gets caught up in a giant government conspiracy. They think he’s learned the secret to making $600 toilet seats.
8 Cracker Jack
There are certificates for gold rings in some boxes. And certificates for Jenny Craig in others.
9 Ted Turner
The Time Warner and CNN honcho says he might run for President. Wouldn’t that be a step down?
10 Monica’s Book Deal
She’ll reportedly get $600,000 to tell her story. Which is what they’ll have to pay me to read it.
11 Sesame Street
The kids’ show is 30 years old. The only thing different is that Big Bird is now doing a comb-over.
12 Fox Specials
Shows like Busted on the Job III are appealing to the demographic advertisers want most — suckers.
13 Boy Scout Manuals
The latest one includes rules of behavior for sex. It’s right after the chapter on cooties.
NBC’s saga of a stereotyped Irish family was postponed. They need extra time to dig up more clichés.
15 A Bug’s Life
Animated movies starring insects are very popular. They’re working on one for Adam Sandler: The Water Bug.