Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet
The 15 hottest topics from the week of Oct. 31
1 JASON PRIESTLEY He leaves Beverly Hills 90210, never to return. He was caught driving an American car.
2 MACY’S From now on their Thanksgiving Day parade balloons must not be more than 70 feet high. So they pulled the one of James Cameron’s ego.
3 JERRY SPRINGER He’s written his autobiography, called Ringmaster. It’s the first selection of the Jerry Springer Book Club.
4 VIAGRA Pilots have been warned, if they take a dose, to wait at least six hours before flying. It doesn’t work when you’re that drunk, anyway.
5 TOM AND NICOLE They want to make New York their home if the paparazzi will leave them alone. Not making that announcement would have been a good start.
6 REDSKINS JOKES What’s the difference between the President and the Washington Redskins? Clinton scores sometimes.
7 JOHN GLENN If they can send one 77-year-old senator into space, why can’t they send them all?
8 DOMINIQUE MOCEANU The Olympic gymnast wants to ”divorce” her mom and dad. Maybe she’s seeing other parents.
9 MONICA LEWINSKY A tabloid says she’s trying to lose 55 pounds. Apparently doing a few deep knee bends every day isn’t enough.
10 MIDTERM ELECTIONS May the best mudslinging, single-issue multimillionaire who raised the most money from special-interest groups win.
11 BECKER Ted Danson plays an obnoxious, loudmouthed, opinionated doctor. The only one without a radio show.
12 DR. LAURA Someone has nude pics of the syndicated radio therapist. Bob Guccione’s offered $150 for them.
13 TINA BROWN She’s picked Talk as the name of her new magazine. Beating out Pop Spew and Pointless Blather.
14 SEINFELD A college acquaintance named Costanza is suing him for $100 million. That’s one way to stay in touch.
15 MIKE PIAZZA No athlete is worth $91 million. At least that’s the consensus of million-dollar-a-year sportscasters.