TV's funniest lines from the week of Oct. 17 to Oct. 23

”What about home schooling? You know, it’s not just for scary religious people anymore.” Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar), after being expelled, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

”I don’t want to say that was cold, but if you opened your mouth, a light would come on.” Ray (Ray Romano), after kissing an angry Debra (Patricia Heaton), on Everybody Loves Raymond

”I was going to watch TV tonight. I hear Luke Perry’s back on 90210.” Joey (Katie Holmes), sarcastically plugging a time-slot competitor, on Dawson’s Creek

”McDonald’s has a new series of ads aimed at kids as young as two years old, which explains their new sandwich — the McNipple.” Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”I have Tang in my cupboard, but that doesn’t make me an astronaut.” Josh (Wallace Langham), to a friend (Scott Thompson) who claimed that because he had a girlfriend he wasn’t gay, on Veronica’s Closet