Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet
1 JIM CARREY Where do you go when you’ve been injured by a pro wrestler? To a fake hospital with fake doctors.
2 LARRY FLYNT The wealthy pornographer offered Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr a job at Hustler. He’d be in charge of whips and handcuffs.
3 SALMAN RUSHDIE Iran says it will stop trying to kill the author of The Satanic Verses — until they see his new book, Bite Me, Ayatollah.
4 MTV RUSSIA The channel has hit the air in Moscow. But their The Real World is called Broke and Freezing to Death.
5 PORN The Pentagon is pulling all sexually explicit magazines from PXs. And sending them to the White House.
6 CHARMED Shannen Doherty plays a good witch in this new series. So it’s true: Practice does make perfect.
7 FARM AID What’s the most profitable thing raised on farms today? Country musicians.
8 ANTZ An animated film about an insect who thinks there’s more to life than work. Like he’s never been to a picnic.
9 ALASKA The state paid everyone who lived there in 1997 a dividend of $1,540.88. The technical term is ”frostbait.”
10 WHAT DREAMS MAY COME Robin Williams and his wife don’t end up in the same place after they die. And the problem is…?
11 SENIOR SEX A new report says that people over the age of 60 have sex at least once a month. They just can’t remember where.
12 MOVING VIOLATION An L.A. policeman found his long-lost dad during a routine traffic stop. He was so happy he let him off without a beating.
13 JOHN GLENN The aging astronaut has his own action figure. It’s very lifelike — you can’t bend its arms or legs.
14 TOMMY HILFIGER The White House asked him not to run an ad with a sexy model sitting in an oval office. And did he know her phone number?
15 OKTOBERFEST The beer-soaked festival is the one time of year when you can make a raw egg stand on its end. (Not really, but it’s fun to watch drunks try to do this.)