TV's funniest lines from September 20 to 24

”If you make fun of me later, I’m gonna hunt you down and kill you.”
CAMRYN MANHEIM, before describing her plus-size Emanuel gown to E! fashion maven Melissa Rivers, on The Live Emmy Awards Post-Show

”President Clinton spent the day on the phone with friends, who said that while he seemed upbeat, he didn’t end his conversations with his trademark ‘Oh, God, yes!”’
CRAIG KILBORN on The Daily Show

”How do they get the sand off?”
DAVID LETTERMAN, looking at naked beachside pictures of guest Cindy Crawford in Playboy, on Late Show

”If you’re over 100, we send you to Oprah.”
JERRY SPRINGER, joking about his guests’ IQs, on The Chris Rock Show

”Nothing’s inexcusable except what [Clinton] did to Chelsea. To know that she has a little brother or sister stuck to a dress somewhere…”
JOAN RIVERS on Politically Incorrect