The internet's funniest quotes from the week of September 11-17, 1998

”I think when you call somebody a hero it is a very big deal. I don’t know what a hero is. I don’t know if there are heroes. I think heroes are people that persevere, that survive, that make contributions to this life that make it better…I don’t think I’ve ever used the word hero because that’s putting too much pressure on a human being.”
Why Do Fools Fall in Love’s HALLE BERRY on Entertainment Tonight Online

”[I have] the weirdest job you can ever imagine. You go to college and study to be an actress and poof! You’re talking about sex on the couch.”
Loveline’s DIANE FARR, on her duties as costar of the racy MTV advice show, on Real Hollywood Online

”My mom’s just a freak with flowers…Every girl in my family is named after a flower! She’s crazy. I’m Poppy Petal, [and there’s] Rosy Thorn, Daisy Yellow, and Lily Belle, and my brother’s Jethro Tull. I think they were going through a hippie phase!”
Dead Man on Campus’ POPPY MONTGOMERY on Real Hollywood Online

The ”press had painted a picture that never had anything to do with me but as a big, monstrous women [sic]…. I kind of always made fun of it. But, I never was that women [sic]. You can’t have four or five kids and be that way. You can’t. I never really was, so I laughed at it.”
ROSEANNE on Entertainment Tonight Online

”I would hope that by now, people who are watching do so for reasons other than the way I part my hair.”
Today’s MATT LAUER, on fans’ obsession with his looks, on E! Online