September 11, 1998 at 04:00 AM EDT

Roger Ebert, in his Little Movie Glossary, postulates the Cole Rule, which states: ”No movie made since 1977 containing a character with the first name ‘Cole’ has been any good.” Here’s my corollary: No movie in which any character says ”The only thing that I didn’t count on was falling in love with you” is remotely worth enduring. Anyone wanna guess what the cop (Boothe) in the tedious Showtime thriller The Spree huskily intones to the sexy cat burglar (Beals) who’s seduced him into both a life of crime and a veritable mountain of cliches? D+

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