The cutesy title of this theatrical film says it all: Plucky, sardonic 25-year-old virgin Katie (Schaffel) takes an entire movie to realize what we’ve known since the opening credits — she’s deeply in love with her platonic pal, nice Jewish boy Ben (Whitfield). Trouble is, we know that they belong together only because the genre demands it — Schaffel and Whitfield evince about as much romantic chemistry as Bill Clinton and Ken Starr. First-time writer-director Julie Davis keeps the snappy sitcom-style banter bubbling along, but you can find I Love You…Don’t Touch Me! listed in Roget’s with words like harmless. C