You’ve heard the new civic motto: ”Vegas — it’s not just for whoremongering drunken wastrels anymore!” (Or something like that.) In an effort to woo families, Bugsy’s city has installed roller coasters, water slides, and kid-friendly entertainment. Hence King Arthur’s Tournament, perhaps the best show for Junior on the strip (the yeomen in leather thongs and a lascivious Merlin notwithstanding). If you’ve seen The Cable Guy — with that marvelous scene of Jim Carrey as an overzealous medievalist and Janeane Garofalo as a scowling server wench — you know what to expect. The lords and ladies of the audience sit around a dirt-filled ring and watch knights on horseback joust and wield maces and use Olde English phrases like ”All is in readiness!” Plot’s not a high priority — something about the tournament victor winning the hand of the princess — and neither is political correctness: The comic relief is a rascally midget, who is told ”Begone, you little rodent!” Aside from the fun of watching knights fall on their chain-mailed butts, you might be bored. But the young’uns love it. They get to bang on the table and shout ”Huzzah!”; plus they get to eat with their hands. Yes, the server wench brings you a utensil-free dinner of surprisingly edible roast Cornish hen and a less appetizing ”dragon stew,” which is some sort of yellow paste-like substance. (Excalibur; 702-597-7600) For adults: C For kids: A- The victuals: B-