What the country is talking about this week...

1 BABS AND BROLIN There was almost no marriage. Then she said, “What the hell, let him keep his name.”

2 LETHAL WEAPON 4 They wanted to call it Lethal Weapon IV but that looked like a movie about Jack Kevorkian.

3 MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Al, Dan, and Boomer have to stay at the same hotels as the rest of the ABC staff. They’ll leave the light on for you.

4 VIEWER SHIFT For the first time, more households watched basic cable during the week than the networks. At least that’s what they said on MSNBC. 5 MOVIE SOUND Some new films are too noisy. But don’t worry—the people behind you will talk louder.

6 FLORIDA FIRES How bad is it? They’re putting butter, white wine, and lemons in Shamu’s tank.

7 A DAY IN THE GARDEN You can still buy tickets to the Woodstock-esque concert. And that includes a free prostate exam.

8 GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS: PRIMETIME The new Fox reality show promises such sights as The World’s Largest Tumor. Please, we’ve all seen Rupert Murdoch.

9 PRINCESS DIANA An ex-retainer claims she’s buried in her family’s pet cemetery. It was that or next to commoners.

10 JENNIFER ANISTON AND BRAD PITT The rumored celebrity couple of the moment. Naked pictures, taped phone calls, bitter breakup to follow.

11 MICHAEL JACKSON He wants to build a casino in Detroit. It’ll be called Never Win Land.

12 MILTON BERLE A biography of TV’s big star by his son shows him in the worst light. It includes his jokes.

13 PAMPLONA The Spanish town where once a year, tourists let wild bulls chase them down its narrow streets. And they worry about drinking the water?

14 DENNIS RODMAN He recently sang along with Pearl Jam. Would he pay to see Eddie Vedder play basketball?

15 ARMAGEDDON Analysts called its $54 million opening week “a disappointment.” That reminds me—have you met my father-in-law?