The funniest TV lines from the week of June 19, 1998

“Al Roker, the NBC weatherman, and his wife are expecting their first baby. So, both Al and his wife are eating for two now.”
JAY LENO on The Tonight Show

“Everything Peter Boyle does on the show, my father has done—except without pants.”
RAY ROMANO, comparing Everbody Loves Raymond to his real life, on CBS This Morning

“I’m wearing more tape and wire under here than Linda Tripp.”
ROSIE O’DONNELL, on her chest-enhancing gown, at the Tony Awards

“In Montana, you don’t see many posted speed limits. So when the police car pulls up alongside of me, of course I immediately assumed he wanted to race.”
DAVID LETTERMAN, referring to his recent speeding ticket, on Late Show

“It was just like that bar in Cheers where everybody knows your name. Except here they were likely to forget it five minutes later.”
CARRIE (SARAH JESSICA PARKER), describing a New York City nightclub, on Sex and the City