''Zen & a Bullet in the Head'' -- The authors offer their top 10 Japanese-to-English subtitle mistranslations

Ah, the consequences of a global market. The popularity of Hong Kong’s film industry has created a broader international demand for its low-budget action flicks. But it’s also meant greater exposure for some of these films’ lowest-budget aspects — i.e., subtitle translations. Herewith, Stefan Hammond and Mike Wilkins, the authors of Sex and Zen & a Bullet in the Head: The Essential Guide to Hong Kong’s Mind-Bending Films (Fireside/ Simon & Schuster), offer their top 10 head-scratching mistranslations:

1. ”You bastard, thank you for the donation!” (Iron Monkey)
2. ”Now, I’d like to open your mysterious sinus.” (Top Bet)
3. ”Possess me with pugilism!” (White Lotus Cult)
4. ”Pal, why is your mind so stinky?” (Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Star)
5. ”I think I am nonsense.” (The Odd One Dies)
6. ”They all have laughly smile. But their ancestors are cannibals.” (Red Spell Spells Red)
7. ”Even the fruits and vegetables were bored to death.” (The Final Option)
8. ”I’ll become a puppy if I were telling a lie.” (Devil Cat)
9. ”Don’t vomit on me, it’s expensive.” (The Chinese Feast)
10. ”Can you let me have big tits for one minute?” (Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Star)