The next step for AOL -- Chatting up Lancelot Link

On April 27, America Online featured Koko, the renowned ”talking” gorilla, as a chat guest. Good start: Now how about bringing on Lancelot Link, the star of the early-’70s series Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp? Excerpts from an imagined chat transcript follow.

AOL HOST GRLLA asks, Lance, is it true that you and Judy, the chimp from Daktari, were on intimate terms?

LANCE Oh, please. If you’d read my autobiography, Yep, I’m Indiscriminately Pansexual, you’d know that my longest relationship was with Cheetah of the Tarzan films.

HOWLR Age/sex/species?

HOST Lance, what promise does cyberspace hold for apes?

LANCE Parity with humans at last. On the Net, no one knows if you’re a Tibetan stump-tailed macaque.

HOST Any words of advice for the TBS film-spoof chimps?

TAMARIN2167 Age/sex/hemisphere?

LANCE Get a good agent — a mandrill, if possible. If all else fails, threaten to bring in PETA.

DSKYTITI Age/sex/opposable thumbs?