April 24, 1998 at 04:00 AM EDT

In just a few short weeks, the networks will unveil their shows in development to advertisers at the annual dog and pony show called ”up-fronts.” Judging from some of the bizarre pilots in the works, the admen had better take their Maalox with them. Here’s a look at some premises that just may make their stomachs churn:

Wind on Water (NBC)
An action drama about two surfer-dude brothers who are fighting to keep their family’s cattle ranch from being taken over by rich neighbors. Suggested alternate title: Cow-abunga.

Brimstone (Fox)
A dead cop (Peter Horton) unjustly sentenced to hell is assigned by the devil to capture escapees from Hades. His first mission should be catching that evil dancing baby on Ally McBeal.

Buddy Faro (CBS)
A long-lost private eye/Rat Pack refugee (Dennis Farina) returns to Los Angeles. In other words, Dellaventura with palm trees.

Ghost Cop (Fox)
A female homicide detective is reluctantly paired up with the apparition of a murdered psychic. And you thought Meego was far-fetched.

Ice (NBC)
A gang of scientists chill at a remote research center in Antarctica. We’ll tune in when they start acting like the Donner party.

Under Her Dress (NBC)
A bassoonist balances living in Manhattan with working at the Statue of Liberty gift shop. Finally, a comedy the huddled masses can relate to.

Charmed (The WB)
Shannen Doherty stars as a twentysomething who discovers she’s a witch. What’s the surprise? Ashley Hamilton could have told her that years ago.

Mercy Point (UPN)
Humans and aliens crowd an emergency room in outer space. Also known as ER + The X-Files = a Hail Mary shot at breaking the top 90.

Martian Law (UPN)
Gunsmoke on Mars. ‘Nuff said.

You May Like